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Westpac bans assault wheelchairs

Sometimes you just say out loud “what the fuck!”

http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/customer-cant-walk-or-talk-but-westpac-bans-him-as-staff-fear-abuse-20160810-gqpalz.html

So it turns out Brandon Tomlin despite being unable to walk or talk due to cerebral palsy is banned from all Wespac branches.

brandonAssualWheelchairs

Obviously he’s a dangerous radicalĀ  (TM) armed with a 100kg electric wheel chair. We tried to communicate with Brandon directly but due to data retention laws he says its too dangerous, loose lips sinking ships and all. So we decided to communicate telepathically to keep our conversation from being intercepted by ‘the man’ or who ever seems to be stealing all the census information. So after brushing up on our zenner cards we received this somewhat cryptic communication.

bRANDONcRYPTIC MESSAGE

It should be pointed out that this dangerous radical (TM) was arrested at Treasury gardens in 2011 for conspiracy to possess a tent for the purposes of sleeping in it.

Assault tents obviously lead to assault wheelchairs in a dangerous spiral of radicalization.When will the madness end !?

Airstrike complete, returning to base. Spooky 1 out.

 

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